dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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