Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
