I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
