I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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