That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
whose ass print is on the piano?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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