Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
