How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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