sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
