Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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