idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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