she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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