Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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