ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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