used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
accomplished twins. life is a go
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
