At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
