I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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