So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
