You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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