eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
