Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
wow bdsm is so cute
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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