Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
