Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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