You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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