she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
