If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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