i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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