Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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