You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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