problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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