i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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