There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
