I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
