I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
