You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
