Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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