Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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