how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
