Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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