Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
either way he was missing a nipple.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
