He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
