i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
