No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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