Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
