Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
