Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
