If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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