i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
tell me about the fingering
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