i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
