sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
