what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont even know how to be here
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
