Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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