I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
