What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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