tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
