Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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