so let's talk penis.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
