So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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