Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
