needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize