4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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