Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
