Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
