So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
