3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
