We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
