why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
