I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
