How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
