I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
